Through the Looking Glass

The next couple days’ prompts would result in micro-posts so they’re being combined.

Day 4

Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

Other than my  being the submissive partner in virtually all my fantasies? Not a single thing that I could think of. Unless my reaction to a movie aired on T.V. over a decade ago counts? Looking back, the behaviors displayed in the movie were domineering rather than dominant. But at the time all I could think was: I want that. I wanted to be her so keenly it almost hurt. Over time that desire faded and eventually morphed into a desire to submit long term. A desire I’ll be able to satisfy again sometime soon. I hope.

 

DAY 5 : YOUR FIRST TIME…
What was you first kinky sexual experience? If you haven’t yet had that first time write about what you hope to have happen.

Sex always leaned toward the rougher side from the start but my  kinky experience was when I reached the age of consent in my state. I remember his name but not his face. We met at a fetish event on my birthday and an hour later, I was face down in his (moving) car with a mouth full of cock. For once my mind was completely free of the racing thoughts that plagued my every waking moment. When he stopped to change his flat tire, I did something he loved afterward that resulted in a brief but memorable spanking as a reward.

As far as firsts go that was one of my positive experiences.

 

 

Rapid change and other things

 

Complete randomness ahead. I’m sleep deprived at the moment.

My number’s changed again. If you’ve got my old number get in touch and I’ll give you* the new one. Unless you’re the one friend that got me excited about the Pottermore equivalent of Pokemon Go. That turned out to be a hoax.  In the words of a certain Tanner: how rude. 

In other news, I have a surprise mini vacation this week so I’ll be spending it getting caught up on “Star Trek Outpost”  and “The Archers”. And cooking extremely spicy curries just for the hell of it. Some might say it’s the masochist inside that draws me to the sort of spiciness I tend to crave but the truth? Most of the curries I’ve tried were just that amazing. I may end up ignoring this particular craving since my stomach’s become a bit sensitive in response to both medications. I may post a weekend playlist to go along with my next post later today. Feel free to post any song suggestions below.

 

Lately there’s been a number of people on m mind that I haven’t thought about in a good few months. It’s left me confused.Especially about two specific people. And I’ve also been concerned that I might fall back into old habits which partly contributed to the ruin of my last — whatever it was. I honestly don’t know how to define what I may or may not have had with one of those two.

 

*Yes  Bob, that means you.

 

Disclaimer: Bob is a fictional character of the Dresden variety.

Spectrum

 Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.

 

 Dom, sub, switch?

I’m just getting back into the swing of things after a very long absence and I’m not entirely sure where I fit in that spectrum. I’ve got kinks for days ,so at the very least I know that I identify as a fetishist of sorts. I’m a sensation slut and just can’t get enough of things that go sting and thud . With the odd fluff and thwack thrown in for good measure. The closest I could get to defining the role I identify with most might be “bottomy switch”. Even then, that doesn’t feel precise enough.

As a submissive, I’m typically happiest when I’m doing things that are service-oriented.

The only time I’ve ever topped and genuinely enjoyed it was with one man. But y’all, it scared the daylights out of me. Not being on top, but how much I enjoyed it with him specifically. If he stumbles across this at any point, he knows exactly who he is. With the few other instances I’d tried topping, it always felt like I was being pushed into an uncomfortable position where I had to be a cruel bitch. And not in a sexual context either. With this particular person though, it felt natural. It felt right. But that could also have had a lot to do with how smoothly things seemed to go.

Maybe I’m being hard on myself, but I still feel as if I’m to blame for the way things ended. Even though I know that, logically, it’s not. After all it does take (at least) two to make any relationship work.

What parts of BDSM interest you?

Well I’m pretty into being restrained, dominated, possibly dominating others doing ouchy things to certain people and having them done to me as well. So I’d say I’m into all parts of the acronym in question. My hard limits are: scat, raceplay, cuckqueaning, polyamory and forced weightloss. I’m open to trying most things at least 1-3 times. I would really like love to learn more about what it takes to be a good top/dominant partner and a submissive. Somehow I have this sneaking suspicion that a lot of the answer are already in front of me. But who knows?

Other things I’m interested in: rigging, body service and bootblacking.  I’ve no doubt the list of things I’m interested in learning more about will grow over time but that’s it for now.