Through the Looking Glass

The next couple days’ prompts would result in micro-posts so they’re being combined.

Day 4

Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

Other than my  being the submissive partner in virtually all my fantasies? Not a single thing that I could think of. Unless my reaction to a movie aired on T.V. over a decade ago counts? Looking back, the behaviors displayed in the movie were domineering rather than dominant. But at the time all I could think was: I want that. I wanted to be her so keenly it almost hurt. Over time that desire faded and eventually morphed into a desire to submit long term. A desire I’ll be able to satisfy again sometime soon. I hope.

 

DAY 5 : YOUR FIRST TIME…
What was you first kinky sexual experience? If you haven’t yet had that first time write about what you hope to have happen.

Sex always leaned toward the rougher side from the start but my  kinky experience was when I reached the age of consent in my state. I remember his name but not his face. We met at a fetish event on my birthday and an hour later, I was face down in his (moving) car with a mouth full of cock. For once my mind was completely free of the racing thoughts that plagued my every waking moment. When he stopped to change his flat tire, I did something he loved afterward that resulted in a brief but memorable spanking as a reward.

As far as firsts go that was one of my positive experiences.

 

 

Escape to Eden

Note:

My wrist is still hurting from what I did to it yesterday so this might not be too detailed.


Day 3: How did you discover you were kinky?

Looking back, there were many hints about my sexual interests. But I didn’t  “discover” that I was kinky until about 10 years ago. Courtesy of Google actually. I was looking up alternative remedies for the flu when she found me. An image of a women dressed in black latex with an accompanying armbinder. The spark of curiosity soon grew into a bonfire. I scoured every possible resource I could get my hands on for more. Given how thorough I can be on a fact finding mission, “more” turned out to be a sizable molehill.
 
From there I searched through Yahoo Groups for one aimed at my demographic. The rest was history. Almost. After a few weeks of awkward fumbling and confusion, I heard it – ping.  A member of the group saw my ad and decided to get in touch. It was awkward at first but I committed to giving it all a few weeks before deciding it wasn’t for me. My internal deadline rocketed past between one heartbeat and the next. I don’t know if it was the person involved or activities we got into, but those first few weeks cemented it. This wasn’t some passing fancy or attempt at daring. Over time I became unable to see myself in a relationship where I couldn’t submit to my partner in all areas.

 

Kink One and Kink Two

Day 2: List your Kinks

The list of kinks I’ve got would be a little too long to explain in detail. At least it would be for a single post.

 

Auralism: I don’t quite remember when the sound of someone’s voice became a fetish but I do know when I realized it. Down to the exact day: May 21st, 2016. It was an odd experience. I was chatting with someone over the phone when… poof 4 hour hands-free orgasm. It was like I was a captive in this pleasant, charged dream. Even now I’m still half convinced it was a figment of my imagination.
 
He later turned out to be a tadpole (not even a frog). At least that served as a learning experience.
 
Suits: The main appeal here is that a suit tailored to fit emphasizes a man’s physicality for me. It also ties into my curiosity about CMNF in a seamless manner. 
Hands: The first thing I notice about a man. Hands that look like they’ve never seen a single day’s work are an instant turn off. I prefer short nails, long fingers, lightly veined and faintly callused.

 

 

 

Spectrum

 Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.

 

 Dom, sub, switch?

I’m just getting back into the swing of things after a very long absence and I’m not entirely sure where I fit in that spectrum. I’ve got kinks for days ,so at the very least I know that I identify as a fetishist of sorts. I’m a sensation slut and just can’t get enough of things that go sting and thud . With the odd fluff and thwack thrown in for good measure. The closest I could get to defining the role I identify with most might be “bottomy switch”. Even then, that doesn’t feel precise enough.

As a submissive, I’m typically happiest when I’m doing things that are service-oriented.

The only time I’ve ever topped and genuinely enjoyed it was with one man. But y’all, it scared the daylights out of me. Not being on top, but how much I enjoyed it with him specifically. If he stumbles across this at any point, he knows exactly who he is. With the few other instances I’d tried topping, it always felt like I was being pushed into an uncomfortable position where I had to be a cruel bitch. And not in a sexual context either. With this particular person though, it felt natural. It felt right. But that could also have had a lot to do with how smoothly things seemed to go.

Maybe I’m being hard on myself, but I still feel as if I’m to blame for the way things ended. Even though I know that, logically, it’s not. After all it does take (at least) two to make any relationship work.

What parts of BDSM interest you?

Well I’m pretty into being restrained, dominated, possibly dominating others doing ouchy things to certain people and having them done to me as well. So I’d say I’m into all parts of the acronym in question. My hard limits are: scat, raceplay, cuckqueaning, polyamory and forced weightloss. I’m open to trying most things at least 1-3 times. I would really like love to learn more about what it takes to be a good top/dominant partner and a submissive. Somehow I have this sneaking suspicion that a lot of the answer are already in front of me. But who knows?

Other things I’m interested in: rigging, body service and bootblacking.  I’ve no doubt the list of things I’m interested in learning more about will grow over time but that’s it for now.