Day 10: List your hard limits


When I first started out, I might have said I had no limits, but it was really that I hadn’t discovered them yet. I was so eager to learn and explore everything I could then. I’m just as curious and eager now, but also much more cautious.

Current Hard Limits

  • Scat,blood, anyone under 21: The first two are self explanatory but the third is more of a comfort thing. I know for a fact that there are people under 21 who are extremely mature and attentive to others’ needs while playing. Also individuals 21+ who are massive jerks, but I’ve encountered significantly fewer in the second category than the first.
  • Yelling: Specifically while angry. Shouting at me gets zero results. It’d just make things worse and do nothing to correct the issue. Really, it’d only serve to cause a panic attack if it went on long enough.
  • Stress positions: For obvious reasons (my health) these are virtually impossible to hold without causing myself massive amounts of pain.
  • Poly: I can’t do it. I get that it’s appealing to some but I refuse to share. Ever.


I would have thought there would be a lot more on this list, but these are the only things I could think of that were the most important.


Closer to Reality

Day 9: Post a kink related song or video you enjoy.

Originally, I was going to choose a Top 40s track from a few years ago, But then I found this and was reminded of my roots. Interestingly enough, “Closer” was one of the songs that got me through a fairly rough patch of confusion over my sexuality.  Looking back, 90s rock got me through a lot.

Trains, Planes and Floggers

Day 7: Your Favorite Toy

My current favorite(s) would have to be my nipple clamps and Chubby G dildo. If it was a little more flexible and slightly thicker, the dildo would be the only toy in the top spot. The clamps are a favorite for how sensitive they leave my nipples for the next few days after. The dildo because of how stretched and full I’ve felt the few times I’ve managed to fit more than the head. If I could have anything? My dream (or  mid-life crisis to some) toy would be a custom Legion Praetorian dungeon. 

Until then, I’d be happy with the Billy from Lelo. 

Where Dreams Come True

Day 6: Describe your weirdest fantasy

I’ve spent a couple of days thinking about this and I’ll admit I was stumped. Mainly because I don’t think any of the fantasies I have are weird.What do I think of most often lately? I would love to be bent over, blindfolded and gagged with a pair of my panties coated in his cum. Then eaten out and tied down with a vibrator left in my  pussy. The only things I’d add are a flogging with a leather cat o’nine tails and mild breathplay.

It might be better to say that my fantasies skew toward the extreme than the strange.

Through the Looking Glass

The next couple days’ prompts would result in micro-posts so they’re being combined.

Day 4

Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

Other than my  being the submissive partner in virtually all my fantasies? Not a single thing that I could think of. Unless my reaction to a movie aired on T.V. over a decade ago counts? Looking back, the behaviors displayed in the movie were domineering rather than dominant. But at the time all I could think was: I want that. I wanted to be her so keenly it almost hurt. Over time that desire faded and eventually morphed into a desire to submit long term. A desire I’ll be able to satisfy again sometime soon. I hope.


What was you first kinky sexual experience? If you haven’t yet had that first time write about what you hope to have happen.

Sex always leaned toward the rougher side from the start but my  kinky experience was when I reached the age of consent in my state. I remember his name but not his face. We met at a fetish event on my birthday and an hour later, I was face down in his (moving) car with a mouth full of cock. For once my mind was completely free of the racing thoughts that plagued my every waking moment. When he stopped to change his flat tire, I did something he loved afterward that resulted in a brief but memorable spanking as a reward.

As far as firsts go that was one of my positive experiences.



Escape to Eden


My wrist is still hurting from what I did to it yesterday so this might not be too detailed.

Day 3: How did you discover you were kinky?

Looking back, there were many hints about my sexual interests. But I didn’t  “discover” that I was kinky until about 10 years ago. Courtesy of Google actually. I was looking up alternative remedies for the flu when she found me. An image of a women dressed in black latex with an accompanying armbinder. The spark of curiosity soon grew into a bonfire. I scoured every possible resource I could get my hands on for more. Given how thorough I can be on a fact finding mission, “more” turned out to be a sizable molehill.
From there I searched through Yahoo Groups for one aimed at my demographic. The rest was history. Almost. After a few weeks of awkward fumbling and confusion, I heard it – ping.  A member of the group saw my ad and decided to get in touch. It was awkward at first but I committed to giving it all a few weeks before deciding it wasn’t for me. My internal deadline rocketed past between one heartbeat and the next. I don’t know if it was the person involved or activities we got into, but those first few weeks cemented it. This wasn’t some passing fancy or attempt at daring. Over time I became unable to see myself in a relationship where I couldn’t submit to my partner in all areas.


Kink One and Kink Two

Day 2: List your Kinks

The list of kinks I’ve got would be a little too long to explain in detail. At least it would be for a single post.


Auralism: I don’t quite remember when the sound of someone’s voice became a fetish but I do know when I realized it. Down to the exact day: May 21st, 2016. It was an odd experience. I was chatting with someone over the phone when… poof 4 hour hands-free orgasm. It was like I was a captive in this pleasant, charged dream. Even now I’m still half convinced it was a figment of my imagination.
He later turned out to be a tadpole (not even a frog). At least that served as a learning experience.
Suits: The main appeal here is that a suit tailored to fit emphasizes a man’s physicality for me. It also ties into my curiosity about CMNF in a seamless manner. 
Hands: The first thing I notice about a man. Hands that look like they’ve never seen a single day’s work are an instant turn off. I prefer short nails, long fingers, lightly veined and faintly callused.